We love you, Bill!

Glad you are home and feeling well! We are all praying that the next time you go to the hospital, it's for a kidney. No one deserves it more.
We love and miss you!
Linds, Morgan, and kiddos

Jen (sorry it's a little late)

Ok so i'm not the worlds best Blogger but i LOVE reading yours and seeing my cute nieces and nephews. I can't believe what cute mother's you all are to your kids and i miss seeing them grow up first hand. and i love all of you!! sorry this is late.

"J" Joy. You have a testimony of the church and it shows.
"E" Energetic. you are a fun mom and your kids are so happy.
"N" nerdy (no matter how old you get your just a nerd at heart) :)
"N" nobody better mess with you!! you are tough & fiercly loyal.
"I" I love you being my sister!
"F" Friendly. You never know what is going to come outta your mouth?
"E" inspiring. you are so creative and crafty.
"R" Rest. i can't beat that. It's PERFECT for you. :)

Sorry i missed your b-day Jen but i was thinking of you on your special day. You are a great little Sis and i enjoy our daily phone talks. i hope you have a great year and an even better start to your 30's!!! i love ya kiddo!!!

"Buzzing" another quilt

A resolution from Jenn

Kate & Auntie Liz, Summer 2006.

Kate Christmas 2009 (at least the shoes will survive this blog....)

Jenn's 2010 (aka: I'm 30 now, here are my goals for the next YEAR):

• I will not let my daughter wear dresses that are only modest when you put on the BEAR version (thank you, Liz... I'll have to find a build a bear for 5 year olds. Can you believe this skank-zilla dress? And yup- I got it for her. Thank you me.)
• I am going to get in shape. Not just lose weight- which, thanks to my blended diet of bulimia and anorexia these last few "sick" days, I have already gotten a heads up on, I am going to tone. That's right. P90X, 2 years of collecting dust, your days are numbered...
• I am going to church every Sunday, doing FHE lessons with the fam and say my prayers- not just the prayers that are said to make someone laugh, either. I'm going to say my prayers morning and night. The personal ones.
• I am going to stop using the inversion off the freeway as an excuse not to take my kids outside to play. Hey, we may not have a park out front, but my goodness. There's a whole beautiful world just a few blocks from us... I know it!
• Meet moms. I am going to meet some girls (and I mean MOMS like ME) who have girls that my daughter can be friends with. No more kissing cousins! (Just kidding, Brooke. But I had to write it!)
• Visiting Teaching. Need I expound? Really. As soon as I'm assigned...
• Stop being so uptight. Stop needing to pound any sort of anxiety pill before breakfast is even over. Just "go with the flow." I'm fun. I can be fun- I can revert back to the days when I focused entirely on that, right?

Let's see, what else.

• Oh yes, dinner. I want to make better meals for my family and be more consistent about dinnertime and nutrition and all that.

For now, I shall end.

Here is to 2010!!!

Marriage

I have recently had the opportunity to ponder what causes marriages to fail. I was reminded of something that I learned a few years ago. In one of my classes, my brilliant professor told the story of a research project that was done a while back. Couples were observed interacting with each other. Cameras were placed in apartments. This is way before we had reality shows. What I remembered is that they were able to predict whether a couple would get divorced or not. I also remembered that criticism was the behavior that would predict divorce.

Because I have been talking about this so much, I decided to look it up and see if I really had remembered it correctly. I thought, "Oh, I probably won't be able to find it." Wah lah Google. Not only did I find it easily, but I had remembered it correctly. AMAZING study done by John Gottman. He has spent years studying marriages. He can predict with 91% accuracy whether or not a couple will get divorced after watching them for only five minutes!!

The reason he can do this is because he has discovered which behaviors will lead to a break up.

1) Harsh start up. If you start a discussion harsh, it usually ends harsh. Start soft, end soft.
2) The Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling)
3) Flooding (overwhelming negativity leaving partner shell shocked)
4) Body Language. People get so upset that they cannot maintain the discussion. It is hard to problem solve when we can't think straight because we are so upset. Be calm.
5) Failed repair attempts. The "repair attempt" is the happy couples secret weapon. Something like a laugh or apology breaking the tension.
6) Bad Memories. Recalling the past with a negative view.

I thought this was pretty interesting stuff. I think everyone is interested in building their relationship. I have the Four Agreements on the blog, but I don't know how often anyone thinks about them. So important. I talk a lot about framing your feelings from your own perspective, such as "I feel.....,when you....." I do this at school and in lots of discussions. I found it interesting that Gottman uses this as well. Well, this is what happens when I don't have any pictures to blog about. Love you all!!