Marie Callenders'

Well just so I can keep everything straight we are at April 1. We had our first "walk date" on March 12, 1994. We had been on several walks by now. We had never been on a "spend money" kind of date. Not that I cared one twit. Well on April 1 he called me and left a message. I called him back at work. The number was 801-532-5279. This isn't important to the story. But the idea that I wrote the number down in my journal affirms the fact that I was a much better journal keeper then, than now. He invited me for errands AND ice cream!! This was a very big deal. "A date without exercise" is what I put in my journal. Of course we ended up not doing errands or getting ice cream, but we did go to Marie Callenders'. We ran into someone he knew from a long time ago. They talked for about 15 minutes. We had pie and talked. We did SO much talking. We visited in the drive way for a while. We had a slight hug. You have to understand that I am such a geek through all of this. I took him a note after this date to thank him and invite him to Sunday dinner. By this time he was calling me every other day or so. We walked Saturday, and he said that he was going to come to dinner on Sunday. He always asked if he could bring anything. SO thoughtful! I didn't write this down, but I remember wondering if we were EVER going to have a first kiss. I still wasn't sure where all of this was going. Maybe we were going to just be "BFF". I also remember thinking that maybe the purpose of the pie was "kissing rights". Well, yeah, I was right. The first walk after the pie, came the kiss. He was all spiffed up when I got there. If I am not mistaken he had on his great yellow Ruff Hewn polo and I had on my light blue oxford Polo shirt. I cannot believe that I didn't write this down, but I remember it SO WELL. We were looking at pictures or something at the bar. All of a sudden he just leaned over and planted one on. YEP, still remember it. Can still feel it. WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL. So casual. He left to use the bathroom before we left for our walk. I can vividly recall walking over to the window, looking out, and thinking that this was very real, and it was going somewhere, and I liked it. Sunday was Conference weekend. We had a great dinner. He brought me flowers and carnations for the girls. "What a guy. I'm gone" was the prophetic journal entry. We all did the tramp again and ended up in the house learning magic tricks. My Guy is "world class famous" for his magic tricks. He also told us scary stories in the dark in Liz's room. Holding hands for the first time with all of your kids in the room. Very interesting. More kisses at the door that night before he left. I was going to need a lot of practice......

Some thoughts on Journal Keeping

Today in Relief Society we had an awesome lesson on temple work and family history. Of course the topic of journal keeping was mentioned. It seems that whenever I am listening to someone talk about family history, the save-all that keeps me from feeling guilty is that I do keep a journal. In fact, I am an avid journal keeper. Recently, however, I have cause to call into question my quality of the practice. When I was young, I was always aware of my Grandma Laura's journals. They were beautiful. Unlike my assortment of mismatched journals (my current giant Dot Candy one being the most outrageous), hers were all beautiful red leather. They were all the same style and color. I just knew that they were filled with so many wonderful things. After she passed away, I had occasion to read through them. I was partly correct in that they were filled with her beautiful penmanship and wisdom. However, like my journals, they were filled with lots of mundane stuff as well. "She had hung the clothes out on the line." "She had gotten her hair done." At that time it was very comforting to me to know that it is OK for journals to be just a log of our routine activities of the day. The trouble is that sometimes, at least for me, those days all look the same. Recently, I have been working on a list that I keep in my journal of my memories of Bill. I don't want to forget important things. Those memories include the things that he said, that he did, that he liked, that he felt, that he laughed at, that he enjoyed, or that he valued. S0 yesterday I had a very valuable lesson taught to me. I was feeling very brave and listening to a Phil Collins CD that has the song "My Girl" on it. This brought to my mind something that HAD to go on that list. My Guy and I didn't really have "a song", but he chose "My Girl" for my ring tone on his cell phone. Everyone that knows us well is aware of that little detail of our lives. What most everyone doesn't know is that every time I called Bill, he would answer the phone singing 'MY GIRL" at the top of his voice. HOW IS IT THAT I HAD NEVER PUT THAT IN MY JOURNAL???? How is it that something that made me smile every day, at least once or twice, and means the world to me now, wasn't included in what had happened to me that day? I think that is was way more important information than the fact that I picked up my dad's prescriptions or cleaned the bathrooms. Lesson Learned: Even though some of those details of our lives are mildly interesting to posterity, the ones that teach us the true character of a person are way more inspiring. I am trying to do a better job of including those kinds of things on the pages of my journal. Anyway, it was an important lesson for me. I am such a slow learner!

Virginia Pearce "Through His Eyes" meets "The Optimistic Child"

Just about one of my favorite things in the world is when something that I teach at school collides with a Gospel principle. That happened this week when I read Virginia Pearce's latest book. She has been my hero since I read "A Heart Like His". I am still trying to incorporate the things I learned in that book into my life. Now, more than ever, because that is what Bill was perfect at. That book taught the principle of keeping your eyes on the needs of the people in your world as those experiences come to you through the course of the day, instead of on "your list for the day".

Anyway there is something that I teach at school that I learned in "The Optimistic Child". It is called ABC. Something happens in our life. We will call it A, for adversity. It could also be called an event, an action, something said or done that was hurtful, a problem, and experience. B stands for belief. That means we have some kind of a thought about the event or adversity. Whatever that thought is leads to a C, for consequence or feeling. The feeling that we have is a result of the thought about the event (A). IF WE CAN CHANGE THE THOUGHT, WE CAN CHANGE THE FEELING! In a school setting it might look like this.

A-- Someone has a party, and you are not invited.

B--"He/She doesn't like me."

C--"I am a loser."

But if you dispute, analyze, correct the thought, it could look like this:

A--Someone has a party, and you are not invited.

B--"He/She doesn't like me."

CORRECTION/DISPUTE--"NO, I know they like me, but maybe they could only have two friends to their party."

C--"I hope they have fun, maybe next time I will get to go".

Well, Virginia Pearce has written a book based on the same idea. Hers looks like this:

Sensory/input/external data/experience

Beliefs/thoughts/interpretation/expectations

Emotions/anger/irritation, peace, depression, anxiety, discouragement

Actions/behavior

She talks about cleaning out our mind as if we were cleaning out a closet. When you really clean, you take everything out. You then make piles. There is the garbage pile, the DI pile, the "somewhere else" pile, and the "go back in" pile. She suggests we take EVERYTHING we believe out of our mind long enough to sort it. The TRUTH, as in Eternal (with a capital T) pile, the truth (small t) pile, and LIES. Make a list of each. Only let back in the Truth piles. Then when you have one of these events, measure it against what you KNOW to be true.

Don't accept every negative thought that pops into your head. We all have them. But if they are WRONG, and they often are, then they lead to negative emotions. EVEN WORSE they lead to negative thoughts about our self. And we all know where that comes from! Hope that all makes sense. I think it is pretty interesting and VERY helpful!

School Day #1

Survived. Thank you, Awesome Kids!

Conclusion Proverbs 15:17 "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith"

This lesson is all about priorities. There are some things that are just plain more important than others. This scripture teaches us that no matter what else is happening, we should have a spirit of love, acceptance, and peace in our homes. We can reword the scripture a thousand different ways, and it still means the same thing. "Better a home with kind words, than a home with no clothes on the floor." There are lots of things that are JUST NOT WORTH FIGHTING ABOUT! The spirit of contention is the "spirit of the devil". The priority for us should be the Spirit of the Lord. That doesn't mean that we can't talk about clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, raising children, money. It just means that we have to do it in a way that allows His Spirit to be with us. And as I always say......"Nice Face, Nice Words, Nice Voice".