Always a Party

It is always a party here these days. Today's guests were Kate the Great, Big J, TyGuy, and Iguy saved the day by helping me with the other three. We had a lot of fun. Yesterday we spent the afternoon at the park. We got rained out today and had to go to McDonald's Playland. Oh well. Last night was popcorn, tonight it's Doritos. Puzzles, making necklaces, tramp, throwing the tennis ball for Maddie, legos, and movies-movies-movies. SO GRATEFUL FOR GRANDCHILDREN.

"The Note" (maybe this will help me feel better)

Well OK, I wasn't that OK with waiting clear til Thursday. I did have his sweater, and that gave me some security. There was something about my guy that I hadn't yet learned. Probably the greatest lesson that I ever learned from him. He was honest and straightforward. If he said it, he meant it. He didn't ever say things just to make people feel good. He never hid his emotions or tried to sugar coat anything. There were no "games" played. This was very new to me at that time in my life. I was raised with people that played games. Actually I learned more from my guy about communicating than I did in my masters' program. Anyway, he had told me that he had a good time. I should have known that he meant it, and that I would hear from him again. But, because I hadn't learned these important lessons yet, by Thursday I was getting nervous about not hearing from him. So I came up with the idea of writing a note. I can tell you exactly what it said because I wrote it down in my journal. "Dear Bill, Nice walks (Nice was underlined). Thank you!! Hope you have a wonderful weekend. You deserve it--mk." Of course I had to get approval from one of my trusted advisors. This time it was JoLynn. She advised that I do it. I dropped the note by his apartment about 3:30 that afternoon. Now you realize that the risk of the note is that if he called me after he got it, I would forever wonder if he only called because of a "beggar" note. Boy, was I rewarded. He called me at 3:40 FROM HIS OFFICE. He called me without even having received the note!! He wanted to know if I was going for a walk. Funny, cause he knew I walked every day. He said he was going to call it a day at work and wanted to know if he could call me when he got home. We took little Heidi -dog on this walk. Heidi was our miniature schnauzer. She was Heidi until Bill came into our life. Then she became known as "Heidi-dog". Heidi was annoying, but she did get us all tangled up in her chain a couple of times, which was rather pleasant. He told me all about his diabetes. He was cooking for the boys again so it was an early evening. He brought me home and walked me in. He stayed for about ten minutes. When he left he said, "I want you to know that I appreciate the note." My clever response was, "Well I appreciate the walks". And that was date three.

Still Learning

As I was stumbling through all my old cards looking for love notes from "my guy", I stumbled across an old talk I had given about 15 years ago. It was a talk on adversity given to graduating seminary students. Funny how it seems like it was written for me to read this very week. In the talk I told this story that I have used in at least a hundred different lessons or talks.

Truman Madsen was alone with President Hugh B. Brown and his doctor in the valley known as Hebron where tradition has it that there is a tomb to father Abraham. Acting as the guide---but in need of guidance, Brother Madsen asked President Brown, "What are the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob?" Elder Brown answered in one word, "POSTERITY". Then Brother Madsen asked, "Why was Abraham commanded to go to Mt. Moriah and offer his only hope of posterity?" It was clear Elder Brown had thought, prayed, and wept over this question before. Finally he said, "Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham." We are blessed with adversity and trials so we can learn what we are capable of doing. Our Father in Heaven already knows what we can do. he wants US to know.

To think that I thought I knew a lot about adversity and faith when I wrote this particular talk. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

The funny thing about gratitude...

Maybe if I focus on the things that I am grateful for, it will help me to not think about the things that I am not grateful for. I have told a thousand people to try this, so maybe I should take my own advice.

1) Very wise friends that teach me things I need to know.
2) Daughters that don't believe me, when I tell them I am OK.
3) Sons that help me through dark hours, when I tell them that I am not OK.
4) The beauty of the earth.
5) Sleepovers with grandchildren.
6) Words of love from my Laurels of yesteryear.
7) Big brothers.
8) Finding very special birthday cards.

That is the best I can do today. Maybe we can "talk" about the next date another day.

Finding Faith after the Staggering Pain of Loss

There is a great big difference between being physically alone, and being without your Eternal partner in mortality. BIG. There is also a great big difference between knowing something in your mind and spirit, and really experiencing it in the flesh. The pain of loss is mind numbing. Romans 8:35, 38-39: Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulations, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Thanks G and J. Bitter and sweet always there for us.

How could I forget?

This is a retraction, somewhat, of my previous post. The second date was the next day. No wonder I was so grateful I didn't have to wait to know if he was going to ask me out again. I spent some time in that very special journal today. I told Lindsay that I was reading through my old journals, and she sent me a text about two hours later that said, "Well are you through torturing yourself yet?" Actually it wasn't torture, it was very sweet. It certainly isn't that I needed to be reminded how much I love Bill. It was just so nice to be reminded how special it was from the very beginning. Our first date had lasted two hours and had flown by. All of a sudden he remembered he was cooking dinner for his boys. He did take me home as promised and came in. When he left he told me that he had enjoyed it and would like to do it again. I promptly agreed. Tracie was with someone named Jared. I am wondering if it was Jared Mabey. Jared told me it really wasn't a date because he hadn't spent any money. I didn't care. I did see him at church the next day, and I was patting HIS arm. He called me right after church. He said he could be ready in 15 minutes. I said I needed thirty. We were together for four hours. We talked and talked and talked. His comment was, "we covered a lot of ground". I remember thinking that was kind of an odd thing to say. I remember thinking that Bill was in charge of what was happening. It was a wonderful feeling, and one that I had never experienced before. I really liked it. I had to wait til Thursday for our next date. I was OK with that because on Sunday night I had borrowed a sweater from him because it had gotten cold. I remember sleeping with that sweater every night because the smell reminded me of him. Now I open his closet about four times every day and get that same wonderful reminder in the very same way.

"I'll catch up with you...."

Well, that first walk was followed by another, and another, and another. But, I will never forget the second one. I am going by memory now because I don't trust myself to dig in to my journals. As I remember, the first date was on a Saturday, and then I didn't hear from him on Sunday. I don't remember if I saw him at church or not. I did not even have time to wonder if he was going to ask me for a second date. And I will always love him for that. Within a day or two, he called me. He said how much he had enjoyed our walk, and "would you like to do it again?". I am thinking that we followed the same formula, but I am not sure, (now I am getting curious about getting the old journals out). We were trying to figure out a time, and I think he wasn't sure about his schedule (something I was soon to learn was very common). So he told me that "he would catch up with me". The first time he said this to me, it made me kind of nervous because it felt rather vague to me. But I was soon to learn that I would hear this phrase often, and he NEVER, ever failed to "catch up with me".

Falling in love while the ward watches...

When I was at church on Sunday, I was painfully reminded that during the period of time when I was trying to decide if I wanted to be interested in him, he was flirting with me like crazy. He would wink at me if i saw him at the grocery store. He would reach out and "touch my elbow" when he walked by me in the halls of the church. I DROVE MY FRIENDS CRAZY trying to get them to help me figure out what all of this meant. I was unable to be myself, which is not a good sign for a relationship. Just a couple of months before he asked me out, the Sunday School Presidency threw a party for all of the teachers. Bill was a SS teacher at this time. In fact, he was Jenn's SS teacher. I was invited to this party. What is strange about this is that I WASN'T A Sunday School TEACHER!. When I asked them why they had invited me, they said it was because I substituted so much. I think I had subbed once, maybe twice. Nevertheless I went, and my guy was there. We actually talked and I was able to coordinate my brain with my mouth. It was yet another example of how the ward was standing by, cheering us on. Thank you Bill and Barbara Shelton. We will always love you for this.

How it all started.....

I have some wonderful friends that knew Bill a lot better than I did. In fact, I didn't know him at all! Even though we had been in the same ward together, we had never really had a conversation. Well there was one in the parking lot of Smith's Food King. That would be the one about Heidi-dog. We had a little Schnauzer that liked to chase motor cycles. She would run into the street and get right under their wheels. It was always very annoying to the drivers. One day Jeff was racing down our street about 100 mph in Bill's beloved Shelby. The car was so noisy that Heidi thought it was a motor cycle and ran out to "get it". Jeff skidded to a stop and saved her and was so concerned. Anyway, as I remember it, that was the one and only time I ever talked to Bill. We laughed about Jeff and Heidi. That is until our first date. My friends, Marsha and David Derrick and Greg and Jolyn Bell, all knew him well and really liked him. I remember one conversation with Marsha went something like this.

Marsha: "Mary Kay, David has worked with him in Scouts and thinks he is such
a great guy."
MK: "Isn't he broke?"
Marsha: "Oh yes, but he will do OK. He is a great business man."
MK: "Does he have a job?"
Marsha: "Well, no, but that won't last long. He always has something going on."
MK: "But he has no debt, right?"
Marsha: "Well he didn't come out that well."
MK: "Well this doesn't sound so great to me."
Marsha: "But David says he is such a good man."
Mary Kay: "But he is older than I am by more than ten years."
Marsha: "Yes, but he is in such good shape, except for the diabetes."
Mary Kay: "He has diabetes?"
Marsha: "Yes, but he takes really good care of himself."
Mary Kay: "NO WAY."
I can't swear to the details of the "Jeff story" or the conversation with Marsha, but believe me they are close enough! Marsha wanted me to chase him. Well there was no way that was going to happen. She kept threatening to take him cookies and put my name on them. At any rate, they did get me to thinking about him. Greg had been our Bishop, and he thought the world of Bill. So on a beautiful Saturday in March when he called me, I said "yes". He wanted to know if I would "like to take a walk", and I thought that sounded like a great idea. He wanted me to walk down to Irene's basement where he was living and pick HIM up. He said that we would take a walk on Lagoon Lane and then he would walk me back up to my house. He had it all figured out. As I was walking down to get him, I thought to myself that it seemed like I was chasing him. Well we walked and talked and it was WONDERFUL. We sure did get a few looks, but we didn't care. He walked me home, and THAT was how it all started.

Hard to be tough..

when your eternal partner is the most patient and loving husband that ever existed. Especially when I was not even close to being as kind and gentle as he was. Please learn to live your lives so that you have nothing to beat yourself up with. Because let me tell you, I have plenty! This picture is what my guy and I looked like after we had been married about two years. Pretty cute, aren't we? We started dating in the Spring of 1994.

Most Amazing People EVER....THANK YOU!!

What in the World? Tonight it was my honor to be our ward's service project. Thanks to some amazing sisters and home teachers, my home got a makeover tonight like you cannot even imagine. There is nothing like giving a talk in Relief Society about how we should let others serve us because it helps our relationships to grow and because it is a blessing in our lives to serve, and then WHAMO! receive that service in a very big way. AMAZING!! Young and old, male and female. I even have clean windows on the inside and out, not to mention the sprinklers have been checked! Feeling VERY loved and SO grateful for the outpouring of care and support. The area that has been cleared in front of the house had a dead tree that had to be pulled out. All of the shrubs have been yanked. It is going to be designed to be a memorial to Bill. Thanks Canyon View! You are the BEST!

Trace's Remarks

I’d like to say a couple things about my dad as well.

I am so proud to be able to call Bill Lewis my dad. I love him so much. Since he passed I’ve been sorting through a treasure trove of rich memories of him as a father. I could probably talk about him for hours and relate all sorts of silly stories and meaningful times. I won’t though, but I wanted to share some things that I’ve been thinking about. First and foremost Bill Lewis was the coolest, most loving Dad. As a father he was very loving and caring and an incredible amount of fun, while still being a strong and admirable leader. He portrayed as a father, and a man, that perfect blend of confidence and humility that endeared him to his children and all that met him. He loved spending time with his kids and instilled in us a love for adventure by always including us in his activities. He was above no chore and worked incredibly hard professionally and even more so at home. He always had time for us and loved to include us in all his vacations and adventures. Whether it was camping, boating, traveling all across the country, going to his beloved Historic car Races, he enjoyed including the family in all of his hobbies and interests. My dad really was the coolest. You know when you’re young and kids would say my dad could beat up your dad, well the coolest thing about my dad is he wouldn’t have wanted to have beaten up any ones dad, but he was a Jet Fighter Pilot and a racecar driver, so…as far as tough, cool dad’s go, I win…and if he wanted too, he probably could have beat up your dad.

I’d also like to talk a little about the end of my dad’s life. As long as I’ve been alive my dad’s been sick with diabetes, although you wouldn’t think about it until he would take his insulin shot and then you would be like, “oh yeah, my dad has diabetes.” When I was young he would love to scare me by telling me that he was going to give me a shot too, but luckily he never did. It was his way of defusing the seriousness of the situation and being strong in the face of hardship. He didn’t let his disease dictate his life or his demeanor, even up to the very end. Of course throughout the years he had a myriad of other health problems in relation to his diabetes and fought courageously until the very end. I would like to thank him for fighting so hard. He was a fighter. I was married to my wife last July and it was a miracle that he was able to travel to Seattle to be in our wedding. It’s something I’ll always be thankful for. There was a lot of pain in the end and numerous serious events that kept the family always worried that the next call or text would be the dreaded news. With so much pain it sometimes made us wonder where’s the meaning in fighting so hard when the battle was often seemingly hopeless and the pain so excruciating. I’d like to share with you that last time I saw my father he expressed to me that he was at peace with his life and that he felt extremely fulfilled. He lived to see all his kids married and with families of their own. He told me how proud he was of me and all his kids and I’d just like to say how proud I am to be his son. It brings me great peace that he said things to me, knowing that he felt he wasn’t long for this world and wanted to share what was in his heart with us. I love him so much and I treasure all the time I spent with him. I’ll always love and miss my dad.

I know, I know,

I know, I haven't been on, but honestly what can one expect of me? (Patty, was that said correctly?) Because I braved Book Group tonight and previewed "Pioneer Woman", I was reminded that one of her guidelines for blogging was to "mix it up". I have been spending time "filing" all of the pictures that everyone took, so I thought a couple of pictures would suffice for a post. That way I wouldn't have to think about what I might say. I picked the three that Bill likes the best. All of the girls had leis, and we put them on the casket. Each member of the family put on a long stem red rose as well. One is a picture of the grand kids in the limo. Yes, they ALL rode in the limo with me to the cemetery. Lastly, the grand kids all (sorry we missed Toryn) got in the back of his truck, which was at the funeral. They all LOVE to ride in the back of the truck and do 360's!

Jeff's Talk "Father and Friend"

Thank you to everyone who has made an effort to be here today. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for us. WE thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your prayers and kind words bring a spirit of healing and peace to all of us. We feel a tremendous amount of gratitude that we have such amazing family and friends. I want to specifically thank this wonderful ward for the friendship and so many expressions of kindness and love. My father enjoyed so much his fellowship with the saints.

We are particularly thankful for all the memories of my father that were shared with us over the last week since his passing. They are great reminders of fun times and precious moments.

I have reflected deeply on the meaningful history that we have shared with this amazing man Gelder William Lewis.

MY FATHER MY FRIEND.

The Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ reassured His disciples that in His death He would not leave them comfortless. I hope that some of what I share with you today will bring you comfort. I also desire today that you will feel the Holy Spirit and know the love that our Savior has for us.

This pulpit is a familiar place to me. This Church Building holds a special place in my heart. From the age of 5 when my family moved from Hawaii I have memories of this place, important and sacred learning experiences here where I learned that I am a Child of GOD. This is the first place that I publicly bore my personal testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ. My Dad was here with me.

We had a lot of fun here. We had pinewood derbies car races here, bike derbies, Church basketball games, Youth activities, Christmas parties, and so much more. At all of these events I was supported by my Dad. He helped me build the pinewood derby cars, he fixed my bikes with me, he was there with me all the way.

My father baptized me at the age of 8 in a Church not far from here. He ordained me to be a Deacon, Teacher, Priest and Elder in this building. A few years ago in the Church building where I was baptized my father ordained me to be a High Priest. My father honored his priesthood. While my father was serving in the bishopric here in this ward I was serving in a bishopric in my ward. He would ask me how things were going in my ward and share insights and observations. He loved to serve his fellow man. Whatever was asked of him he did it with a smile and with love.

As a young man I did not realize how fortunate I was to have such a wonderful mentor, teacher and friend. My Father was my first Home teaching companion. He taught me at a very young age the important responsibility that we have to help and love one another. When I say that he taught me this he didn’t stand there and preach to me he showed me. His sermon was his service.

He taught me respect for women, respect for Motherhood, respect for ourselves and most importantly respect to God.

My father was with me through the most important stages of my life.

As you know he was so much fun. And he loved cars. When I was 12 years old my dad took me to the races in Elkhart Lake Wisconsin. The famous track called ROAD AMERICA. I had no idea what we were doing but it sounded like fun. And I loved being with my dad. A close friend of his from High School Glen Wigglesworth had bought an Alfa Romeo T33 can-am car and invited my dad to partner with him so they could race it together. This was in 1985. They had a professional driver and the day before the race they had the car drivers take the volunteers workers of the track around in the cars. This was the chance of a lifetime to ride in these amazing cars around this beautiful track. You were supposed to be 18 years old. But my dad picked me up threw me in the Alfa Romeo and pointed to the driver to take off. We took some very memorable laps around that amazing track. I had purple converse chuck taylor shoes that I thought were going to melt off my feet because of all the vibration and heat from the engine. The driver later laughed with us telling my Dad that I looked like this. Moments like this told me that my dad wanted me to have great memorable experiences and he always wanted me to jump at the opportunity to have a great adventure. I will strive for the rest of my life to provide exhilarating experiences for my boys. He wanted me to have these once in a lifetime experiences.

Our dad took special opportunity to have one on one time like this with his children. Trace and I were talking just a few days ago about a special trip they took together to southern UT and how meaningful this time was.

I was talking to a business associate of my dad’s in Texas a few days ago and she wanted to tell me about the struggling population of horny toads in Texas. And she was hoping that the Horny Toad that Tyler had brought back to Utah many years ago was still thriving here. My Dad took Tyler to Texas by himself and brought him back with a horny toad.

The one on one time was very special and he made sure that we each had time to be with him and talk about what was important to us.

Our dad was very generous. He loved to share. He loved to share his time and visit with family and friends. He let anybody that wanted to drive his cars. This surprised people sometimes. He loved to see the look on people’s faces when he would burn rubber. He would be driving very respectfully down Shepard Lane and out of nowhere he would slam it into first hit the gas fishtail around a corner and go through all the gears flying up highway 89. And he loved to see the stunned faces of his passengers. He would look at us in the rear view mirror with a big smile.

When I was 17 years old my dad took me to a Mustang car club slalom race in Park City. He entered both of us in the race. I remember the organizer talking with my Dad and saying. “Well Bill, Jeff is not 18.” Will you be responsible for him if something happens? YES he would say. And then tell me that I better not crash the car. He trusted me. He let me drive his car in the slalom. He took 3rd place and I took 4th. I am reminded by this great lesson that I need to trust people even when I am a little nervous.

My Dad spent a great deal of time with me in Scouts. Campouts were very fun with my Dad. A few months before my eighteenth birthday I was working at the Wild West shoot out at LAGOON. This was a fun job. And I was trying to save some money for my mission. But, I had not completed my Eagle rank in the Boy Scouts of America. I had been a Life scout for probably 4 years. We had a conflict with something in my work schedule and It looked like I may not be able to travel to do my Eagle project in Durango Colorado with my troop. I told him about this dilemma and said sadly I probably can’t get my Eagle. He explained very seriously to me that even if I lost my job I needed to get my Eagle scout award. You see my Dad was a Life Scout. He always regretted not getting his Eagle and wanted to see me achieve this. My father drove me all the way to Durango to meet up with my Troop then turned around and drove home. It was about a 15 hour round trip. My dad impacted my life because he helped me see that when you start out on a goal you don’t give up. You stick with it and find ways to accomplish it even when it looks hard. Don’t give up! Because of my dads support and example, I earned the rank of Eagle Scout.

My Dad was a great story teller. He would tell great stories all the time. If it was a funny story many times he would start laughing so hard that he couldn’t finish the story.

My dad would say….”I want to tell you about a BOBCAT. A group of friends were out in the woods and found a bobcat in a trap. They found an old trunk and put the bobcat inside. Once in the trunk they thought it would be fun to leave the trunk on the side of the road with the BOBCAT still inside and see what would happen. Soon after leaving it on the side of the road, a truck stopped, grabbed the trunk and sped off. Sorry, I can’t finish this story because at this point my dad would be laughing so hard he would have tears streaming down his face and could never get the rest of the story out. And we would all have tears of laughter too.

Father and Friend: Here is a special thought from my sister Kelsey:

When I was in junior high school and my friends and I wanted to pursue social activities, but couldn’t drive ourselves around, my father was our personal chauffer and party host. He would drive us to the movies or a haunted house for Halloween or doorbell ditching a boy’s house and sit in the car and wait for us even if it took hours. My friends were surprised how willing my father was to spend this kind of time with a bunch of adolescent girls. At one point I asked my Dad why he always offered to be the driver or the host when other parents were too busy. He said he was happy to spend as much time with me as he could because someday I’d grow up and wouldn’t want him hanging around so much. Well, that day never came, Dad. I never grew tired of spending time with you and I will forever cherish our time together.

While Dad had his professional pursuits, he cared more about spending time with his children and family than his own personal hobbies or interests. We talk about him loving cars, but he always took the family along to the races. He would work hard all week, but worked equally hard at home to care for his children. My Dad cooked, cleaned, did laundry, drove carpool and changed diapers. And he was a tender and nurturing father.

My Dad had an Angel in his life. A living beautiful, pink grandma named Mary Kay. She is his queen. He loves her so much. Mary Kay, we want to thank you for your love, tenderness, and dedication to our Dad. You took such good care of him. Your love for him gave him extra strength and courage to overcome tough physical challenges. We love you very much.

President Joseph F. Smith (April Conference 1916)

"I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separated from them. We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors...who have preceded us into the spirit world. We cannot forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we cannot break. If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, how much more certain it is...to believe that those who have been faithful who have gone beyond...can see us better than we can see them, that they know us better than we know them.

I claim that we live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; they can comprehend better than ever before....hence their solicitude for us and their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves."

Before my father passed away there were many tender mercies. He was struggling to walk and tried to hide that he was not doing well so he could attend my son Isaac’s Aaronic Priesthood ordination. I will never forget that and I know Isaac will not forget that his Papa Bill was there.

My Dad had many difficult things happen throughout his life. He wrote on the inside of his personal scriptures in bold letters…

TRIALS ARE MANDATORY MISERIES ARE OPTIONAL. What an amazing attitude he had through all difficulties.

When I was on my mission he wrote me every week. He knew what I was doing was hard and he sent me letters that helped me through very difficult times.

I have thought and prayed to know what he would want me to say to you. First of all he loves you. He loves all of you. He wants you to know that. He wants you to know that he has a testimony that Jesus Christ lives that he is the son of God.

Gelder William Lewis was my best friend. My Dad was my best friend. He was my best man at my wedding. One of the greatest blessings of my life is that he is my father. His life was a living sermon. I will forever strive to be like him.

the Book of Mormon it says:

Alma 40:11 - 12

11 …The spirits of all men, … are taken home to that God who gave them life.

12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

This is what my Dad wants all of you to know. He is at peace he is not suffering he is in the presence of loved ones. His spirit is alive. His body is here, his spirit is not. Because of the power of the atonement of our savior Jesus Christ we can all someday be with our loved ones again. Through the resurrection we will all be restored to our perfect state.

I want to express my love to you. I want to leave my testimony with you.

In the sacred name of Jesus Christ Amen.