"I feel...AMAZED!"

Every year that I do this "school counseling" thing, I am more and more amazed at what a wonderful program it is to have in the elementary schools. We have been talking a lot about anger the last few lessons. This seems to be something the kids know they have a problem with, and like to talk about ways to manage it. One of the most effective strategies is knowing that usually there is a feeling that comes before the anger. Understanding that there is an emotion that precedes the anger is something they can relate to. It is so fascinating to me that whether we are 60 or 6, when we hear something that rings true, it changes us. Our last lesson was about "I feel...when" messages. So this lesson we talk about experiences we had using what we had learned from the last lesson. Without exception someone in every class had something to share. The older classes have had experiences, but they don't always share. My favorite was the little girl named Paige in the first grade. Her story went like this. "We were all in line at the ice cream store. My brother went to the front of the line because he said that he was the 'best in the family'. I told him that 'I felt sad' that he had said that. So my brother told me that he was 'sorry', and went to the back of the line." We all need a way to express our feelings in a way that is appropriate. The person that we tell won't always change their behavior or even go to the back of the line, but we feel better because we told them how we felt in an inoffensive way. I was thinking about something that happened at church last Sunday. Someone said something in a Sunday School class that had the potential to be very hurtful. I don't have any idea if the person that could have been hurt heard it, or even cared. But I find myself wanting to tell them that it is OK to express our feelings. It is even OK, especially, to the one that did hurting. Better than talking about it to everyone else. We all say stupid things. How can we know if someone doesn't tell us?? "I feel GRATEFUL" to help kids learn these skills that will help them communicate better all through their lives. For part of this lesson we made an "Alphabet of Feelings". We picked words to describe our feelings for every letter of the alphabet. Who else but a fifth grade boy would choose "I feel gassy!" for the letter G?

The Perfect Day

I did get to have my applique lesson on my perfect day, but that was the only part of the day that was mine. The rest of my day went to Janie. Janie is someone that came into my life about five months ago. She is a young lady that came to our neighborhood "homeless" and left just about the same. One night I got a call from the Bishop saying we had a wonderful opportunity to help someone. She moved into what we call the "Bayview Motel". This is a house down the street that has rooms rented out illegally, as if it were a boarding house. Mid morning of my perfect, (non Relief Society) day, I got another call from the Bishop. Janie had been evicted. Janie has been in foster care since about age 14. She doesn't have wonderful social skills. The landlord was having trouble keeping his other renters happy with some of Janie's habits. So the day was filled with drama. Part of the drama was her landlord asking me if I were her drug supplier. That was Wednesday. By Thursday we were packing. I had to drag my poor husband and his truck down to help with the move. Our night ended about 9:00 unloading at the Camelot Trailer Park in North Salt Lake. I am sure that I will never forget Janie. I am sure that my children will never forget having Janie at our Thanksgiving Feast. It actually was a perfect day.

I have been so excited to put the things I learned at my lesson to use. Only tonight I was able to do that. So I have to share my first "little doll". She has not been sewn on yet, but she was decided upon (the very hardest part), cut, pressed, and photographed just for you!

For you, Grandma Laura

Sunbonnet Sue

Three events are colliding tomorrow to make a perfect day. Well, actually four. The first one happened when Brilliant Brooke gave me a lesson with a Master Quilter. The second when I saw an adorable quilt at Quilter's Haven that I had to make. The third when I finally figured out that I wanted this Master Quilter to teach me how to make a Sunbonnet Sue Appliqued quilt (and it would work beautifully with the quilt that I had to make). Lastly, because I changed my schedule around, I officially have a whole day off. It is tomorrow. The day is usually devoted to all that is Relief Society, but because we are more than worn out from doing what I call the "Visiting Teaching Shuffle", we are taking a break from meeting/visiting. So after dutifully purchasing a long list of "things I will need", tomorrow is the big day. I had a yellow and brown Sunbonnet Sue quilt that my Grandma Z. made. I have no idea where it is. or what became of it, but I LOVED it. I know that if I learn to make one, Grandma will forgive me. No wait, she would never have been upset in the first place. That is the kind of Gramma I want to be. I will keep you posted on my progress.

Open up that Hershey Kiss and go to the "happy place"

There are two lessons in my curriculum at school that are VERY helpful to kids and adults as well. One of them is on "stress management" and the other one is on "anger as a secondary emotion". The lesson on stress management talks about a lot of different ways to relieve stress. I like to focus the lesson on how to relieve stress when you are sitting in your seat and no one can even tell. There are three techniques that I teach the kids. The first one is tightening your muscles as tight as you can, then releasing them. It is called "out tensioning the tension". The second one is deep breathing through your nose, then blowing it out through your mouth. The last one is finding a happy and beautiful place that you can go to in your mind when you are stressed. The kids understand stress and are grateful to learn some skills to help them handle it. The lesson on anger management talks about how anger is not usually ever the first emotion. The first emotion is usually something like fear, embarrassment, frustration, hurt, pain, hunger, or sadness. If we can understand what we are really feeling, it will help to ease the anger. We are focusing on the true feeling instead of our reaction to it. I demonstrate this lesson with a Hershey Kiss. The wrapper is the anger. If we unwrap the anger, we get inside to what is most important (the real emotion). Of course, we have to all have a Hershey Kiss to celebrate learning this important principle. I always ask the kids at the beginning of the lesson if they have had any experiences to share from the last lesson. A while back I asked the kids how they had gotten rid of their stress after the lesson on stress. One little girl in second grade raised her hand and said, "I just unwrapped that Hershey Kiss and went to the happy place!" In my book of memories of all of the crazy things that kids have said to me, it is hard to imagine one better than that. It is always good to have people reflect back what we have said, because what is heard is often different than what was said.