Lindsay's Tribute "Thanks, Dad"

My mom wanted me to put this on our blog, since mine is private. It's the talk my sisters and I wrote and I read at his funeral. I hope it conveys how grateful we are to have Bill be in our lives.

"I am honored and privileged to pay tribute to our dad, Bill Lewis. Some of you don’t know that when Bill married my mom, he took on a houseful of girls… Liz was 4, and the rest of us were entering our teenage years. It was like a sorority. Little did we all know the impact he would have on all of our lives. We didn’t make it easy for him, that’s for sure. But in just a few short years we realized what an amazing father we had and asked him to make it legal. He made us feel like it was his honor to call us his own.

We want to tell him thank you for all the memories.

Thank you for sweeping our mother off her feet. You taught us how a man should treat a woman and how a true gentleman should behave. Thank you for loving her unconditionally. We could see how much you loved her through your eyes and we will always love you for that. We loved your nicknames for her, “sweet pea” and “sweetness of my heart.” You were very protective of my mom and set the bar high for how she needed to be treated. It is an attitude we have internalized and come to love our mom so much more because of.

Thank you for all the back rubs and foot massages. Our husbands do their best to live up to the standard.

Thank you for all the family trips, whether they were to the West Coast, the East Coast, or to the Fairfield Inn 20 mins away from home. You sure loved to travel. Anytime any of us planned a trip, we always knew who to call for advice and suggestions.

Thank you for taking four miserable teenage girls (and mom) camping – we still laugh about that one.

Thank you for instilling in us the importance of a good education. You did everything you could to encourage and support us getting through college.

Thank you for the wedding toasts. Jenn will always appreciate hers.

Thank you for lessons on grilled cheeses, stick shifts, and how to make a proper hamburger patty.

Thank you for giving us jobs, teaching us the value of work. We all remember trips to SL, days spent filing and lunches with you. That was always something we looked forward to.

Thank you for opening our mother’s eyes to the opportunities available in the kitchen.

Thank you for all your impersonations. Even if they did scare away our boyfriends.

Thank you for loving our pets. Even Emmy Lou, the cat, that rode with you partway to the church every day on top of your truck. Liz will always remember sitting around the fireplace with you giving Ally-girl pat-pats.

Thank you for your stories. You always had one to share, even though we never knew if it was true or not. You always had us laughing until it hurt. Tracie’s favorite was when you would laugh so hard you would cry and couldn’t finish your own stories.

Thank you for your enthusiasm. It was contagious.

Thank you for your testimony. We knew your love for Jesus Christ through your good works. You were always willing to help whoever with whatever. We knew you valued your membership in the church by your actions. No church calling was too small or too big for him to give 100%. Thank you for the Priesthood Blessings. We knew we could ask you anytime, day or night, no questions asked. You were always a comfort, always calm, always prepared.

Thank you for making family prayer and scripture study a priority. No matter how early in the morning.

Thank you for teaching us that if you want someone to respect you, you had to respect yourself.

Thank you, Papa Bill, for the horsey rides, the truck rides, the sword fights, the duck noises that terrified my kids, but most your grandkids loved.

Thanks for the birthday calls. Everyone loved your off-key version of Happy Birthday.

Thanks especially for snuggling my newborns. I will never forget you staying by my side in the hospital while I recovered.

I want to conclude with something Jenn wrote that expresses how we all feel:

“Only now that you are looking down from "above" you may see how much you did for me as a daughter, a wife and a mother. You will always mean more to me than any other father to his daughter. You helped me realize my true potential. And I know you are continuing your legacy.
I don't think a single one of us ever took a special talent of yours for granted. And for that, I believe we will always be blessed every day with you in our hearts.”

I am so grateful for Bill helping us understand what an eternal family means. I know he is reunited with his mom and dad and I know we will all be with him again. I’m so grateful for my Father in Heaven for making that possible and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. "

"To be fair..."

To be honest, I didn't think I was going to be able to do a new post for a while. Someday I will be able to share the last 24 hours of Bill's precious life, but not this week. However, something happened tonight that I had to share. It is said that the way we treat others reflects to what extent we follow our Savior in loving one another. We show our love for Him when we stop to assist others. That was how Bill lived his life. Tonight I asked Lindsay to get something from Bill's email that I needed for business. While she was looking at his email, she came across the one that the ward High Priest group leadership sent out about the funeral. In our ward, when there are opportunities for service, we have mass emails for Relief Society and High Priests. The email that went out to the High Priests said, "I am sure that all of you want to help set up for the funeral on Friday. To be fair, we will use the first six that respond to this email." I think that statement is an accurate reflection of how Bill's fellowmen felt he treated them.

GELDER LEWIS Obituary: View GELDER LEWIS's Obituary by Salt Lake Tribune

GELDER LEWIS Obituary: View GELDER LEWIS's Obituary by Salt Lake Tribune

Miracles No More

The last of the updates.
We lost our wonderful father, grandfather and husband last night after several complications with... diabetes. He was surrounded by his wife and 6 (of 8) children and went peacefully to our Heavenly Father.

Thank you to ALL for the love and support to my mom and all of us at this time. We have felt so much love and support. Thank you.

Reporting

Blood Pressure is holding its own, and they continue to lower "pressers".
Heart was in A Fib all night. They gave him medication for this (which had been stopped yesterday morning). This medication causes his BP to go lower, so that makes BP news even better. Still getting the medication. I am not sure if he is still in it or not. Looks less to me.
Dialysis all day yesterday and all night last night. It is a solution that "pulls" fluid off. This is a delicate balance with his BP. "Pulling" fluid causes BP to go lower. That makes BP news even better.
It is not raining, and I see lots of blue sky from our deluxe suite. We have a beautiful view of Costco and our beautiful mountains. Love to all. By the way, Greg and Jolynn, I hope you don't mind that I told Dr. M. that I could arrange for him to have "your ear" anytime he wanted. He remembered you and was VERY impressed. VERY.

Mixed News (updated)

Bill's ultrasound brought mixed news. It showed that his heart muscle function has improved since he came in. It is not as good as the last time we went home, but halfway there. This is something that can get better. What is not better is his leaky aortic valve. I wasn't here, so I don't know how much worse it is. I do know that the only way they can know exactly how bad it is, is with an angiogram. It has always looked worse on the ultrasound than it really is. I might be just a little too optimistic here, but facts are facts. There is a procedure that is not open heart surgery that fixes aortic valves. We have asked them about it before, but he didn't need it then. It might be an option. Jeff was here when the doctors were, and he didn't know about it to ask. Of course, Bill can't talk. How unfair is that? The ventilator is still in to support his lungs. He got to sit up in a chair today, and that felt great. They also had him do some exercises with his legs. No pain! His blood pressure has been great. They reduced the "pressers" (that is what they call the helper drugs), and it is still doing well. That is wonderful news. Our sweet Bishop came by today and got in at a great time. He and Jeff gave Bill a blessing. Flecks of gold. There are plans for a walk, if we can figure out all of the equipment. He is having dialysis today with stronger solutions. He already looks less puffy. Not that it matters, but I got 2 out of three lessons done today and ready for Monday. I got a bath in my own tub and cleans clothes. I grabbed the few things I was missing. For those of you that know Doug and Carma Luke, it is their son Chris' birthday today. They are amazing people that have had more than their share of challenges. Helps so much to know that others have gotten through hard times with a smile.

Update after visit with Dr. M.
Aortic valve is not worse. Is there a repair for how it is? Yes, but it is not bad enough to repair.
Mitral valve is worse. Is there a repair for it? Yes, but Bill is not eligible because of his kidney failure. When it is approved, he could have it. Not "approved" at this time. It can get better if his ejection fractions get back up around 40-45, which they can do. The leak would be less severe. Blood Pressure still good with reduced "pressers". Down, but not out.

Still trying to smile.

Tests, tests, tests, and waiting for results. Chest X-ray will tell us how his lungs are. Ultrasound, yet to be done, will tell us about his heart muscle function. BP still holding OK, with medicine support. Waiting for a decision on the ventilator. These are hard minutes. Bill had a good rest last night, but hospital life is getting very old. Hoping for a little movement out of the bed. We'll see. I am heading to school to finish up some things and then home for a bath. Thanks to Celeste, Scott, and Jeff my "dead battery car" will start. Did not need car trouble!!

Tired, but Happy

When the head doctor of the Trauma Team calls you "Miracle Man", you know you must deserve the title. We still have questions unanswered. Stomach (dialysis) fluid seems to have no infection. Not a final answer, however. There is still a question about his lungs. He does have a slight fever, so something is going on somewhere. He sat up in bed today. That was his physical therapy. He has to be vigorous in his therapy. It will keep him from having trouble with his lungs, and it is good for his arteries. He is still dependent on "helper" drugs for his BP. Last time we went through this, it took him about four days to get off those drugs. His spirits are very good. He is tired tonight. He didn't sleep well last night. But he has big smiles for everyone that comes in the room. He really is amazing.

Acts of Kindness

Well, for anyone out there who thinks I am not being well taken care of, let me just tell you a thing or two about that. My sweet daughter and adorable grandkids picked me up and chauffeured me to my hair cut appointment. I had a GLORIOUS hair wash and hair cut. My darling visiting teachers were here when I got back. They brought me the softest blanket EVER and a stash of Diet Coke and Big Hunks and Chocolate. Someone also shared an amazing thought with me that I just had to pass along. It is by CS Lewis, and it goes like this,"I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God; it changes me." Thanks, Kathy. Thanks everyone. I don't know so much who reads these posts, but I know they help me focus on being positive, and I am so grateful for that.

IMC Morning Report with Correspondent MK (Updated version)

Simple version--Bill had a great night. Slept well. Spirits are great. He has no pain. Still on a ventilator, so he cannot talk. All of his labs look great.

Detailed version--Bill is taking two medicines to "support" his blood pressure. They are trying to wean him off of them. They were hoping to have made more progress there. His blood pressure is perfect right now (with support). There are two things that are working to lower his BP. One is the fact that he has an infection, (pneumonia). The other is a medicine they give him to stabilize his heart (keep it from doing A fib). Dr. M. thinks they will keep him on the ventilator, not necessarily because he needs it, but so it is easier for his lungs to work well. Helps with the pneumonia and less stress on his body.

Updated: They are not sure it is pneumonia. There is fluid at least around his lungs. This could be from not taking enough fluid off during dialysis. They haven't been able to take much fluid because it lowers his BP. They are still testing. They are also testing the fluid in his tummy. There might be an infection there. Always more questions that answers. Also they are going to work on getting him up. WAY TOO MUCH sitting around. NOT good for him.

Very Grateful Children

Miracle Man is awake and smiling. He is very happy to be with us and feeling very grateful. All of the kids have been so amazing. They have all been here and helping, and checking in from out of state. It is hard to not be here, but their love is felt in great abundance. Kelsey, Ty, and Jeff were here when he woke up, and it was very special for everyone. LOVE OUR GREAT KIDS!!

Quick Fix

The stent that was put in a month ago is still working great. An older stent, also in a main artery, was 80% blocked. They reballooned it. It is open for now. There wasn't any other excitement. Bill is still sleeping.

Unhappy Report

Bill had another cardiac arrest this AM. They brought him back with CPR. Then he went into something called V Fib or something like that. This involved shocks. They brought him back. He is stable. (with very little credibility). He has fluid in his lungs from either not strong enough dialysis or lack of good deep breaths due to cracked ribs. They weren't sure if they would be able to do the angiogram because they suspected some bleeding (from CPR). They finally decided to do it. He is in the cath lab right now. The kids have all been here. We are doing as well as can be expected. Bill is gratefully drugged. He is expected to be there about two hours. Always grateful for prayers. Love you all.

Stephanie

Since January of 2010, Bill and I have spent 20+ nights in the Intensive Care Units of IMC in Murray. The staff is beyond incredible. They always take impeccable care of Bill. They have always let me spend the night with him in ICU, even though I believe that it is against the rules. I usually make a bed on the floor with lots of pillows and a blanket from home. One night last month when we were here, a nurse named Stephanie made a bed for me on the floor. She got a bunch of extra stuff from their supply closet. She even tucked me in and patted me on the bottom. With that pat, I felt the love of all of the friends and people that care so much about us, but weren't their to give that pat. For my last lesson at school, I chose the topic of Service. I have been telling the kids about Stephanie. I told them that she didn't need to do it. It certainly wasn't part of her job. It didn't cost her anything. I told them that she probably didn't even remember it, because she does things like that all day, every day. I told them that I would remember it for the rest of my life. I told them to be that person. Be the person that says, "I am so glad you are at school today." "Do you need someone to play with at recess?" "Do you need help with your work?" Be the person that does something nice for someone, and they will remember it for the rest of their life.

I didn't like the way Bill sounded last night while he was sleeping. It seemed very hard for him to breathe. It has been this way since his ribs were broken, but last night seemed worse. I almost called the paramedics, but didn't. He breathes easier during the day, and so the temptation is to let it go. But I knew I couldn't go through another night like that, so I called around the ward til I found someone that could listen to his lungs. Angel Nurse Michelle Maxfield came by. She thought his lungs sounded a little full at the bottom. She convinced him in a way that I could not that he needed to go get checked. So we traveled to the ER about seven tonight. His BP is low. He has some fluid in his lungs. They are doing the strongest dialysis to pull that fluid off. They have to balance that with keeping his BP up. His body is a myriad of contradictions. Anything they do that is good for one thing, is bad for something else. At any rate we are in Cardiac ICU tonight, and we are in the Lord's hands. And Stephanie is our nurse.

First Days and Last Days

One of the first things I learned as a teacher is that you only get one chance at the first day of school and one chance at the end. It is kind of like Christmas. If you don't have it done when the stores are closed, then you didn't make it. You can't do over the first impression as a teacher on that important first day of school. When the end of the year is here, you can't go back. End of level testing comes whether you are ready or not. I have a race to get to the end of my year. Though no longer teaching, I still have certain things to finish. I have plenty of time, but not much wiggle room in case "something comes up". I finished my "groups" last week. That was a big relief. No one can do that for me. We always finish up our eight weeks with a root beer float party. I can check that off my list. I have two classroom visits in May. One is a final lesson and the other is a "Review Game". I only have three more "final lessons" to give. Two of these were rescheduled by the teacher, or they would have been done. Two tomorrow, and one on Friday. Hopefully achievable. Next week I am doing all of the visits in one week. The game is all set to go. I have someone that can fill in for me. One of the remarkable blessings that I had this year was a lovely lady that wanted some intern hours. She helped me out for a good part of the year. Right after Christmas she was hired as a long term substitute, but now she is free. She has offered to finish up whatever I cannot do. This is a great comfort.

Last night I had a rough night with puppy Maddie, so I was a bit tired today, and more emotional than usual. After the doctor I went in to work to finish up some things. I did have a mini meltdown as I thanked our secretary for all of the support I feel from her and the rest of the staff. There are so many people that ask me how I can keep my job with all that is going on. Truly there are some days that Debbie looks at me and says, "Why are you here?" This is so incredibly comforting to me. The staff at Oak Hills has been supportive of me since the day that I arrived. My boss is amazing. She does the work of 20 and supports everything that I have to do. The first year that I was there was when Mom was having such horrible hallucinations. I was always running out to "save" her. There is a phrase in a really pretty song somewhere that says something like, "I loved you before I met you". The staff at Oak Hills supported me even before they knew anything about me. It is an amazing place to be. I have relationships there that I will always treasure. I am so grateful for that turn of fate that led me to educational psychology and the never ending blessings that have come from it.

Dr. M. is feeling cautious.

No one is very excited that the symptoms continue to persist. Bill's BP has come up a bit, but the nausea/gagging still goes on. We are going in for an angiogram on Wednesday. The doctor wants to be on the "ahead" side of any event, rather than the "behind" side. This is not a painful procedure. Miracle Man will probably be awake through out. If they find any kind of blockage, they will fix it, and he will spend the night. If they find all clear, they won't do anything, and he will come home that day. We both feel good about this. The pain is still with us. Bill is trying to use as little medicine as possible. He is tired of not being able to eat. Hoping that as the medicine clears out of his system, he will feel like eating.

Sunday, Sunday....

Miracle Man had a good day. He showered. He noticed that he hasn't been out of the house for about three weeks, except to go to the doctor. He is more interested in food. He is still struggling with the pain. The pain is hard to describe. It is better because he is able to stand not taking the really heavy stuff. It is worse because he isn't taking the really heavy stuff. We are hoping that by reducing the pills, his appetite will bounce back, his BP will come up, and he will stop gagging. The results are not as immediate as we would hope. His BP did break 100 today. That is the first time in a while. His appetite seems a little better, but his stomach just won't let him eat. We are seeing the cardiologist again tomorrow. We will see what he has to say. Meanwhile the sun is shining, and school is almost out!!

I Never Would Have Thought...

I never would have thought that I would have read a book like "Pioneer Woman" and enjoyed it as much as I did. It is a sweet love story. It is not about Pioneers or Mormons or anything even close to that . It is the story of Ree Drummond and her rancher boyfriend/husband. I am sure I could never have finished reading it, except for the fact that it is a true story. Besides enjoying the story, it has inspired me to do more posting. She has a blog and that is how her book got started. She began by posting about their courtship. She has written guidelines on her blog about posting. The ones that inspired me were to Be Yourself, Do it Often, Be Varied, and Talk as if You Were Talking To Your Sister. I actually think it was her guidelines that inspired me even more that her book or blog. I don't have a sister, so this is a nice replacement, and all the more reason for me to do it.

A few weeks ago I did a post called "A Perfect Day". That phrase has a whole new meaning these days. The bar is quite a bit lower. I don't know that I would call today a "perfect day", but some nice things did happen. Miracle Man is not in the hospital. He is still in a world of pain, but he is at home. His pain is really bad because he is trying to stop taking so much medicine. He has reduced it by more than half. Yesterday he only had one of the really strong ones, instead of three or four. Today he has only had five Tylenol so far. He is hurting, but bearing it. He still has no appetite. He is still sick to his stomach. His blood pressure seems to be trying to go up a bit. Certainly, not as much as we would hope for, but heading in the right direction.

Jenn and her kids came out to brighten our day. They ran Maddie til she couldn't walk, and cleaned the playroom. When I say they cleaned the playroom, I mean they REALLY cleaned it. The floor was so sterile that we could put Ty-Guy down on it. She also did some other cleaning in the basement. Yay Jenn!! Yay Kate the Great!! She got her mom's cleaning gene. We love our family and friends and continue to be so grateful for the love and support of everyone.

Unexpected Pleasures

Yesterday Bill felt good enough to turn on his computer and do a bit of work. As a result I ran to SLC to drop something off for him. Who would have thought that I would encounter such beauty? My reward was a Temple Square "drive by". I think I must always forget how amazing the grounds are. The splendor of the gardens took my breath away.

Bill had a good night. He still struggles with appetite and blood pressure. Pain seems to be diminishing, which is encouraging. One day at a time...

Small and Simple Signs of Improvement....Great things coming to pass

So far today we have had a bit less medicine. Miracle Man has stayed down more. This is very helpful to easing up on pain. Nice to have Jenn and the kids around today. They really gave Maddie a workout and helped me with some jobs. Maybe the "Maddog" will rest well tonight. Bill has eaten more today than yesterday. He seems a little more interested in food. I went to a big RS extravaganza, so I had yummy food for him. He is doing his best to do justice to it. Trace and Lisa are here tonight. They are in town for a funeral. That ought to perk him up a bit. Last night Kelsey, Todd, and the boys came out with dinner and helped with some repairs. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful family.

True Grit/May 10, 1969/"MM" Update

Happy Anniversary to the Golden Spike! It was 142 years ago today that the two railroads were joined. We had a celebration in Brigham City in 1969 to celebrate. John Wayne came to town. I even got his autograph. I have since read on the Internet that the reenactment attracted some 28,000 people. Well, let's say the reenactment, and John Wayne. When I was teaching, I always told my kids about the Golden Spike on May 10. What I didn't know until recently was that John Wayne also came to town for another reason. He attended the Premiere of the movie that he received his only Oscar for, "True Grit". It "opened" at the Capitol Theatre in SLC. I think that I need to take my grand kids on a field trip to the Golden Spike Museum this summer. I am pretty sure that they will be interested. Speaking of "true grit", Miracle Man thinks his ribs are "popping" less today. This would be good news. MK has him on a schedule for medication. It will be interesting to see how that works out.

"and the doctor said...''

He thinks that all of the problems (nausea, gagging, low BP, no appetite), are from the pain medication. He also thinks that Bill is still somewhat dehydrated. He thought that he sent Bill home from the hospital with Celebrex, which is an anti-inflammatory. He meant to. So now we are taking Celebrex, which he was taking in the hospital. The plan and hope is that taking it will reduce the need for the narcotic. He thinks that the gagging re injures the ribs. Wants to see him again on Monday. He warned us that he will be out of town from Thursday til Monday, and so we have to "behave". Some of you might remember that anti-inflammatories are bad for someone in Bill's condition. But right now it is the lesser of two evils. That is the report for today.

Meet Braden Bell and "The Road Show"

Many years ago there was a little boy in our neighborhood that put plays together. The older he got, the more polished his productions became. He did a an amazing job of bringing people together in a positive way to create and learn. Now this little boy is a former LDS Bishop, currently serves in a Stake Presidency, is a father of five, a handsome husband, and teaches at a private school in the south by directing kids in plays and music. He is an accomplished person in his own right, but he also happens to be the oldest son of two of my nearest and dearest friends in the whole world, Greg and Jolynn Bell.

Recently he added "author" to his list of accomplishments. "The Road Show" is an amazing story of real people that anyone could easily know. There is the young man struggling with pornography, the depressed young mom, the older and lonely single lady, and the brusque Priesthood leader that thinks everyone should take care of their own problems. I, quite literally, know all of these people. They come together to create a roadshow. It isn't just any old road show. It is a spiritual roadshow. Who has ever heard of such a thing? Well, I loved it. I found myself wondering for days after what "my friends' were doing. It is a lovely read, and it certainly touched my heart. Way to go, Braden! We are so proud of you!

Pain, Pain, Go AWAY!

Bill's pain seems to be no better. We do have stronger drugs to control it. Sorry that this is not a happier report. All else seems fine. Seeing the cardiologist tomorrow. We had a nice day, despite. At least I did. Thanks to Jenn and Codye, for the FABULOUS dinner! Beyond yummy! Thanks Liz, for the company out, and Josh, for sharing you. Thanks for all of the love and support, cards, texts, calls, and visits. We have so many wonderful friends and such an awesome family.

Depends on who you ask.....

If you ask Bill how he is, he will tell you he is terrible. Unbearable pain. We have a new prescription today. Hope it helps.
If you ask MK, she will tell you he had a great night, less pain this AM, worse pain than ever this afternoon, no gagging so far today, appetite better, and BP is high enough that he can take the medicine that helps his heart. Awesome, isn't it?

Flecks of Gold

About a year ago I started attending our neighborhood book group. Since finishing school, the only books I have read were of the history, psychology, or church genre. I used to be an avid reader of novels when I was much younger. Participating in the book group has reminded me of the other types of books that are wonderfully diversionary. It will soon be my turn to preview, so I got on Amazon and promptly ordered three books that I have really been wanting to read. One of these books was very spiritually uplifting. It was written by an LDS author. It gave me a much needed lift as I was traveling to Florida and worried about things at home. The next one got me through a week in ICU with Bill. The last one made for a relaxing read on our St. George getaway. I am so grateful to remember how much fun it can be to read something just for the enjoyment of it. It is a tender mercy, a fleck of gold, and the timing of its arrival was impeccable. Thanks ladies for letting me be part of your very special group.

MUCH NEEDED really good night.

Bill had a really good night last night. He is still overwhelmed with the pain of the broken ribs. Bill is not a baby, and the pain is unbearable. He is having trouble keeping food down because of the pain meds. His blood pressure seems to be rallying, so we are very grateful for that. His color looks good. Spirits "so so" considering, but doing as well as anyone could expect. Love to all.

Our Very Own Princess Kate

Wrapped with love in her new Princess Quilt!

Slow Recovery

We saw the cardiologist today and got a good report. We are still struggling with being dehydrated. Therefore, low blood pressure. The pain is still intense. We are going back in for a check up next week. Bill will have another angiogram in three months to anticipate any more blockages. They really do take such good care of him.