"I feel...AMAZED!"

Every year that I do this "school counseling" thing, I am more and more amazed at what a wonderful program it is to have in the elementary schools. We have been talking a lot about anger the last few lessons. This seems to be something the kids know they have a problem with, and like to talk about ways to manage it. One of the most effective strategies is knowing that usually there is a feeling that comes before the anger. Understanding that there is an emotion that precedes the anger is something they can relate to. It is so fascinating to me that whether we are 60 or 6, when we hear something that rings true, it changes us. Our last lesson was about "I feel...when" messages. So this lesson we talk about experiences we had using what we had learned from the last lesson. Without exception someone in every class had something to share. The older classes have had experiences, but they don't always share. My favorite was the little girl named Paige in the first grade. Her story went like this. "We were all in line at the ice cream store. My brother went to the front of the line because he said that he was the 'best in the family'. I told him that 'I felt sad' that he had said that. So my brother told me that he was 'sorry', and went to the back of the line." We all need a way to express our feelings in a way that is appropriate. The person that we tell won't always change their behavior or even go to the back of the line, but we feel better because we told them how we felt in an inoffensive way. I was thinking about something that happened at church last Sunday. Someone said something in a Sunday School class that had the potential to be very hurtful. I don't have any idea if the person that could have been hurt heard it, or even cared. But I find myself wanting to tell them that it is OK to express our feelings. It is even OK, especially, to the one that did hurting. Better than talking about it to everyone else. We all say stupid things. How can we know if someone doesn't tell us?? "I feel GRATEFUL" to help kids learn these skills that will help them communicate better all through their lives. For part of this lesson we made an "Alphabet of Feelings". We picked words to describe our feelings for every letter of the alphabet. Who else but a fifth grade boy would choose "I feel gassy!" for the letter G?